Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
