is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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