I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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