You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
