I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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