I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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