speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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