We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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