quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
