I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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