This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
