The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
