and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
