you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Randomize
