no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
