Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
