I'm gonna have a badass scar
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
