That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
