I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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