I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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