before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
