Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
