I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
