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you suck at this game today
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize