Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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