No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize