I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
