id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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