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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
