I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
