I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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