She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
