You made me cry and you don't even care
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
