Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
