Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think my tv is drunk
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
