there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
