wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
