it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
