Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
