i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
