I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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