By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
