You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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