We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
COCAINE IS GR8
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize