I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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