I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
