I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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