If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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