Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
