..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
