The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize