I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize