do herpes really smell.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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