if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
A+ Viking dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
