ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
