shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize