Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize