had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
