You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
