im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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