I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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