Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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